The Jia Khan’s case (a celebrity who hanged herself earlier this month due to a failed love affair) does not make my heart wrench for her clearly because its a classic example of how women “educated” “effluent” and “elite” who are supposed to be independent and intelligent, let LOSERS take charge of their life and kill themselves in the end.

Jia Khan was a role model to many girls in her own way because she had achieved so much in a young age. Her boyfriend was a struggler and a loser. He was abusive and clearly not faithful, in spite of all this she was with him. I appreciate that she was in love and she was faithful – BUT YOU CANNOT BE STUPID IN LIFE. She had a mother, two sisters and her entire career ahead of her. She chose to give away all that for a abuser and a rapist?

You CANNOT blame the world for your problems. You have to take charge of your situation and change it. I am a firm believer of that.

I work with thousands of women who are victims of violence and abuse – they ARE STILL ALIVE, fighting their battle every single day. Jia khan had all the resources to live happily IF she had a better will power. I have no sympathy for people who are cowards in life.

What is real upliftment of women? When she takes charge of her life and shows the door to people out who are causing her pain and violating her rights – JIA KHAN became a victim. My issue is not that she got pregnant or she aborted. I am sure all that was by her own choice – she gave her consent because that is what it looks like, lets assume that even if she was raped she had a choice to go in public and ensure this guy was behind bars.She was a celebrity, she had the media behind her and she could have certainly ruined his life if she wanted. This could have been an example for millions of young girls in India.

She could have led by example but she did not. She succumbed to the SELF CREATED PRESSURES and SELF AFFLICTED PAIN – She had a CHOICE unlike many other women in this country and yet gave it all away.

Jia’s Family who have now come all out against this guy should have done this the day the mother found out that Jia was hit by this boyfriend.  What were they doing till now? Is this not the case with majority of families in India – we don’t know what our daughters are going through, who they are with and what it could potentially do to them.

How I wish WOMEN in India could have a better sense of what is right and what is wrong for themselves. The guy DID NOT deserve Jia – period!! She was stuck to him because SHE loved him, and he USED HER, ABUSED HER AND CERTAINLY KILLED HER. She knew it all along.

This country is full of ABUSIVE BOYFRIENDS who think they can get what they want , but are we going to let our girls die because we teach them that TRUE LOVE HAPPENS ONLY ONCE and you have to marry the man with whom you have slept? Ridiculuos!!!



  1. Andy

    Hi Uma
    Good to see you’re talking about the big issues as always!
    I’m afraid I’m not with you 100% on this one though. I think you make too many assumptions about Jia without knowing her true story. Many famous people have a public face that hides their real problems. Just because she is rich and famous and appears strong in public, doesn’t mean we should expect her to have been able to escape from a abusive relationship any more than any other woman.
    We need to know why she was in that abusive relationship in the first place, what led her there is what kept her there. Without knowing this and we probably never will now, I don’t think we should judge her as weak for not having broken the chains that held her in misery.

    Following your line of thought, if you put the women of India on a spectrum with strong, famous and good family at one end and weak, poor and uncaring family at the other………then at what point on the spectrum would you say to a woman that “She could have led by example, but she did not”.

    For me it would be impossible to identify that point on the spectrum, because I don’t think it works this way. All women who suffer violence and abuse in their homes are victims. Each needs very special care and support in the hope that they reach their own tipping point – the point at which they reduce their own demons to the size where they can value themselves enough to walk away from their abuser.

    Despite her apparent good fortune, I suspect Jia never valued herself enough to reach that tipping point.

  2. Sufferer

    Hi Uma,
    I totally disagree with you. Firstly you can’t generalize the whole Male gender with this incident. Secondly I will show you millions of girls who dump there boyfriends and who even abuse and do double cross. When boyfriend abuses Girl can goto Police and file a DV act and there are many cases where girls file a false rape case (Majority of the rape case are false). And when Male are abused there are no Law where he can get protection. And for your information suicide rate of Husbands are much higher than wife in India (according to NCRB data). So please stop bashing Male gender and accept the reality. Those who are supporting the gender bias law will soon be the Victims irrespective of Gender. Female have power to implicate anyone in the false case. So stop judging by single incident (in this case outcome is yet to come) and stop Male bashing.


    1. umasubramanian Post author

      Hi there,

      I am sorry if my article came across as biased and MALE BASHING sort of a statement. Let me assure you that it was not the intention. I agree and admit that no gender is free of discrimination, given the cultural context that we live it women are more vulnerable (that does not mean men are not). I respect your opinion, but I still stick to the stand that I took in this article (its PRO WOMEN which by no means is ANTI MEN)


  3. Sufferer

    Why don’t you take stand when a Husbands dies? And do you need to be a Pro Women to express yourself? Even after saying that Suicide rate of Husbands are more than Wife, you still say that Women are more vulnerable. Please see around there are so many fake rape cases, DV case, 498a case, Sexual Molestation case. Tell me one law which protects Male. Please come out of the mindset that “Mard ko dard nahi hota”. Men have full right to be emotional and have even right to cry. I too respect your opinion but don’t try to be pro-women or pro-men. I am not pro-men but my fight is only for Gender Equality Law.



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