RAPED , KILLED, CREMATED – CAN INDIA’S CONSCIOUSNESS CHANGE?

We Indian women have been groped, fondled, touched, pushed, teased, pinched and raped. Some of us raped literally and some raped through eyes, comments and gestures. Each one of us has faced this since puberty, some were unlucky to face it even before, some in their homes, some in schools and most of us on the streets.

Since my teenage years, my parents, like most parents in India, told me, “The outside world is bad, so be careful.” We were told to hold our bags to cover our breasts, we were not allowed to wear sleeveless shirts, or short skirts that might attract the attention of men, no fitted tops and no make up. The world around us was BAD, we were told.

And their fear was justified: In India a woman is raped every 4 seconds. Whenever we read about a rape case the implication was that the woman had been careless: She wore a tight skirt, she went out too late, she was with a man and therefore must be a prostitute. Never was the rapist blamed. This is part of our consciousness and learning since childhood and part of the reason the terrible problem persists.

Instead, we have taught our girls to protect themselves with martial arts, told them to carry chili powder to throw in the eyes of an attacker. We have covered them in multiple layers of clothes and taught them to use an umbrella for protection. Never have we thought to look at this issue from another perspective, we, each one of us, have blindly accepted that the world around us is BAD.

But our collective failure to speak out, to act against men who rape, has led once again to tragedy, this time in Delhi. There, in mid-December, a 23-year-old medical student was brutally raped on a chartered bus over many hours and then discarded  on the streets of the national capital. Six psychotic men raped her, beat her and threw her away thinking they could do so with impunity. Nothing protected her – her multiple layers of clothes, the lessons from her parents, the six police check points which she passed as she was being raped, or her male friend – everything failed this woman.

As terrible as this was, hundreds of women are raped in India every day, some in marriages, some on the streets, but this tragedy has finally sparked the consciousness of our nation of 1 billion. Finally, we speak in one voice – WE NEED TO RESPECT WOMEN IN INDIA. Delhi students and angry women have braved tear gas, water cannons and lathi to protest against the men who thought they could use the young woman for their pleasure, to demand their punishment.

But I wonder, would the sense of national tragedy, the reaction, be the same if the girl, were wearing a short dress when she was picked up by the bus joyriders, if her male companion were a boyfriend, or if they were returning from a nightclub?

I believe this case has grabbed national attention because the girl was SPOTLESS according to the huge moral brigade of India. She was a medical student, wearing Indian dress, it was 9:30 pm (not so late), she went to a movie with a friend and she was returning home. She ticked all the boxes of the ideal Indian woman.

But would the brutality have been any less if this girl were a model or a dancer, wearing a short skirt? We need to use this moment also to analyze our own prejudices when it comes to rape. Don’t we all have biases against women who are MODERN in India? We ignore women who are raped in villages. We turn a blind eye to the thousands of Dalit women who raped by upper caste men.

Although the young woman’s horror represents a terrible loss for her family and the nation, let us hope that her life is not wasted, that our national mourning has finally brought gender inequality and gender-based violence to the forefront. For the first time, there is conversation about teaching boys to respect women, to control their urges.  People are advocating for stringent and swift punishment for rapists. The blame is finally shifting from the victims to the offenders.

This incident has also given hope to the thousands of women who are still struggling for justice after being raped. The not-so-popular Women’s Movement in India has stepped forward.

Hopefully, the national introspection will help diminish the stigma around rape and reporting rape. Bollywood, the media and our repressive society have exaggerated the social stigma attached to reporting an attack and this also needs to change.

Time has come for us as a country to think deeply about the way we see girls and the way we treat them. We worship women as goddesses but label them as whores if they dress differently. We kill girls in the womb, preferring boys, and rape them once they are born.

We need collectively to work to change both the legal and cultural frameworks of this country simultaneously and justice needs to be delivered to victims in a timely manner.

Lets not forget that men are also victims of our socialization. Lets educate our younger generation about sex and sexuality; let’s not teach them what our parents taught us.

We must sensitize our police, politicians, judiciary and media. In our Bollywood films, lets stop portraying women as objects and glorifying men who tease women.

The 23-year-old young girl died of multiple organ failure, from the failure of her country and all of us to protect her. Each one of us is responsible for not speaking out.

The only way we can pay tribute to her terrible sacrifice is to ensure that no other women experience the same, to speak out against violence, to act against violence.

The time has come for us to make this country a safe place for women.

56 thoughts on “RAPED , KILLED, CREMATED – CAN INDIA’S CONSCIOUSNESS CHANGE?

      1. Sundaresan

        Hi,
        Fantastic analysis and article, how this can be published prominently on the first pages of all the news papers? I think this article needs to translated in all Indian languages and circulated immediately. U hv Show us the mirror.

  1. Mitesh

    Uma, yr post helpd me 2 see the world in another perspective. Nice 2 read it. Hearttouching. Hope bad scene moves away as soon as possible. (Better fr us).
    Thanks

    Reply
  2. Krishna

    Your point is valid. Crime against any human, a bar dancer or a nun must to be denounced and punished. But, there is nothing wrong in in thinking about practicality. If wearing a mini skirt and partying till late is troublesome in your society you must take care. Atleast until that situation changes, which in my opinion takes a lot of time. We must all work together for that change.

    Reply
    1. umasubramanian Post author

      Agreed – but in today’s scenario people are raping Babies. Can someone explain if babies are troublesome? It takes a human mind to avoid such crimes. Dress and culture comes much later.

      Reply
      1. Krishna

        I’m sorry, your babies example is not relevant to my point. I’m not saying that taking care of dress and culture is panacea. But if it helps in some cases then what;s wrong in taking care. Rapes, or for that matter any crime, takes place when human mind is devoid of it;s humane quality. As Dale Carnegie said it’s better give your path to a dog than be bitten by him in contesting for the right, even killing the dog would not cure the bite. I’m just saying you must take care until society is ready to take care of the dog that is violating your right.
        By the way what points you are thinking of that we as a society should focus first to avoid crime against women in India?

      2. umasubramanian Post author

        - We should make sex education compulsory in schools and colleges. Teach the kids about sex and sexuality in a biological way – before they find out from their sources

        - Training programs on Handling cases for Police, Judiciary, Women’s commissions, Health care professionals and other stakeholders who are involved in handling the cases

        - Special units in every police stations – A friendly corner for women and children who can go there freely and report the cases. Similar to what is being done in many other countries

        - Fast track courts and stringent punishment to the existing offendors – let the country set a legal benchmark.

        - NEXT TIME WE SEE ANYONE LETCHING AT A WOMAN ANYWHERE – LETS MAKE SURE WE MAKE A NOISE – THAT IS THE FUNDAMENTAL TO CHANGE THE MINDSET

      3. AbuTaareq

        Uma,

        I read your response to Krishna. Are you proposing more education, more protection, faster judgement only? What about punishment? what kind of punishment? What about research to stop this inhuman activity? Are we just sitting and finding reasons why this happen? A human taking over other human consider in human, do you want that inhuman walk around in your community? Some cases, many crime stops because financial loss or fear of life, how do we categorize this crime? If a human does not fit to live among human, what do you suggest we should do with that human? What is our religions says? We are country of spirituals and religious scholars, don’t we?

      4. Babita Mitchell

        Hello there. I love your piece, beautifully written and to the point. I cannot help but think tat may be the obvious is missing. Why are people raping babies, a paedophilic society as well as a rapist one? These are two different issues. How do these people access the babies, perhaps the mothers cannot care for them, in which case then the kids have to be taken away. Secondly, whilst i agree with all that you say, doesn’t justice start with the people who do justice first. I find it amazing how many articles do not focus on the police, the perpetrators. This is rather disturbing for me. Should we not start by punishing the police, at least then we can begin to understand each other. Think to change the society will take a long time. Should we not therefore consider arming the women with some sort of weapons….not exactly saying
        guns. If a society cannot protect its people through proper law, think it is time to go back to basics and let the victim or his family punish the perpetrator in his/her way. What is wrong with ripping your attacker’s balls off if that helps. It is justice at the end of the day. Believe me, once the word is spread that women can do that and perhaps more, no mother f&£@/£& would want to tease a woman again. An eye for an eye!

        I have visited india and was confused by the very fact that a taxi is manned by two drivers at night. I have been there when the 2 drivers tried to attack me but hell, what the f@&£ is with this practice?

        India seems to be a sick world deprived of sex. Is it to do with the education or lack of it or is it to do with the arranged marriage custom? So many issues….i wish i ad the time to continue.

      5. AbuTaareq

        “If a society cannot protect its people through proper law, think it is time to go back to basics and let the victim or his family punish the perpetrator in his/her way. What is wrong with ripping your attacker’s balls off if that helps. It is justice at the end of the day. Believe me, once the word is spread that women can do that and perhaps more, no mother f&£@/£& would want to tease a woman again. An eye for an eye! ”

        Well said and it is natural thinking process. Believe me, it is already happening all over India, Indians do not know how to rule themselves. We have been ruled by Persians, Moghuls and Britisher for over 1000 years, God knows who was before. I would think, for the last 60+ years are the worse. It is time for us call some foreigners rule us again.

  3. Shubhangi

    Well written.. Bt sorry 2 say dat dis is india. Witin 2 weeks tym, similiar incident happnd in rajouri garden. Guys threw acid on d gals fce jz coz she rfsd 2 sit in dere car!! Hope sme stringent ways chnge the mindset n d present day scenario., odrwse i dnt thnk anythng is going 2 chnge.. !!

    Reply
      1. Shubhangi

        I dont want to b sry 4 r country…. Bt d prcntge f ppl who r trying dere level bst 2 mke us thnk so is very high. I kno v cn brng a chnge n v wl 4 sre, bt cnt c a way ot…. Protests r goin on, i kno, bt wat hs bn dne… 2 wks hv already pasd, bt notin cncrete hv bn dne, nt evn v hv bn assurd dat sumtin wil b dne 4 sre…. Dere is a diff btwn sain n doin, n d culprits r takin advntge f dis. Dey knw, tym wil pas, n d govt wil mke ppl 4gt damini by doin sumtin bigr dan dis…. Bt keepin my fngrs crossd dat may dis scrifice of damini dosnt go in vain… Inshallah india will soon b a betr n a safr plc 4 women 2 live in….

    1. Babita Mitchell

      Classic….how come acid is so freely available? Something else to address when these things should have been controlled.

      Reply
      1. AbuTaareq

        You forgot to ask, how come school bus used for bachelor party ? There are millions of “how comes” in India.

  4. SAJAN

    Heart touching one….really its a great article..rape reports in villages are not showing in any medias or social networks. Law always blind on those victims.

    Reply
  5. Jenny

    Brilliantly written, I truly appreciate the way in which you’ve crafted this. Eye-opening and compelling… Rape of all women, regardless of station and who they are, is wrong. You’ve brought this point out well- where the finger is pointing is problematic.

    Reply
  6. brajesh

    hey really well written, hope that society changes …. but it doesnt end here that society changes or not, We need to be changed individually and being a male my responsibilities are far more increased too be suave and good guy and .change my attitude first towards girl……….

    Reply
      1. AbuTaareq

        What did he said? Change? But how? How are you advising him to change his attitude towards Girl? How you define rape and rapist? Then define the change … ! Whatever Rajesh said has been told 100 years…!

  7. Avnish Verma

    Mam u wrote a great article which has changed and will change the thinking of all towards women…
    and i pray god that women must get respect by everyone
    i salute u mam, i have also shared your article on facebook.
    thank u mam

    Reply
  8. HK

    We live in a country where we claim to have a lot of cultural heritage, traditions and values. We are said to worship women, which is not the ground reality.
    Its a shame that we still continue to project our nation as one with values.
    Change has to come at various levels for us to battle out from this situation.
    Women have all the right and freedom required to decide their lifestyle. This is no excuse to invite RAPE.

    Lets hope at least now we will have people changing their mindset and better laws to support our women .

    Reply
  9. Krishna

    Nicely articulated and well written. Am sorry we havent been able to secure our country for everyone of us. Nevertheless we are finally determined to upgrade our mindset and move on with the latest trend. We will make it a better place to live as soon as possible :)

    Dear need your help … have been trying hard to get this through but my bad luck :(
    I dont have great writing skills nor am socially well connected. Please can you help me in sharing this to the right people if at all you know anyone of them. If not no issues.. just try to spread it or rewrite it in a better way so that it gets attention :)
    Below is what I had mentioned on my fb wall…
    ————————————————
    “Lets make 26th January 2013 Parade a UNIQUE one!
    Does anyone know anybody who can prepare a “Jhanki” not from any specific state but from the Nation as a whole which shows the brutality of a Rape and its further consequences. Am sure there are many creative teams working out there who can do it in weeks time. Just that I dont know them and so need everyones help.
    There are still millions in small cities and villages who dont follow the news channels and are mostly unaware of this problem existing in the society.
    If we need a revolution, we need to upgrade those living in the remotest parts of India with the latest information.
    We will not get such opportunities of reaching out to the across the nation on such a large scale!
    Some people might not know what the people in Delhi are doing or who is the new leader called Arvind Kejriwal representing the Aam Aadmi party, but they surely know that DD1 shows the Jhanki on 26th Jan and 15th August every year!

    Please pass on the information if you feel it will help…”
    ————————————————

    Sorry if it doesn’t interests you… but I feel AWARENESS is required more than laws.

    Reply
    1. GRAViTY (@GRAViTYSELDoM)

      we all have one motive, might be slightly different in views. Our nation needs a complete overhaulling … we need to workout for our upcoming generation, and when we get the rebirth, and definelly in India, we will be proud to say…” BE LIKE INDIANS, BEST OF ALL HUMAN BREEDS” GRAViTY SELDoM.

      Reply
  10. Ashish Goyal

    I must thanks to author for analysing and putting concerns in words. After reading the article I have got few questions.
    1. “WE”: to whom it refers because this “we” divided in many parts,
    • On the basis of their financial status: Rich, middle class (lower middle class + Upper middle class), poor.
    • On the basis of their literacy level: elite, literate and illiterate
    • On the basis of casts: Hindu, Muslim etc..
    • On the basis of geographical locations: Urban and Country man
    • Other divisions: divisions on the basis of family, area, states, sex, occupation etc…
    2. Changing Mindset: who will/should take the lead and how?
    For this I broadly divide “we” in 3 parts: 1. those who are in power or attached to power (powerful people). – Largely a part of governing system/administration.
    2. Common man (literate, elite) – largely from urban societies
    3. Common man (illiterate +poor) – largely from villages

    • If a common man (literate, elite) takes the lead how much percentage it represent as a vote bank actually and how many do cast their vote when the time comes. Probably very less percentage in comparison to Common man (illiterate +poor). When a situation of bringing a large radical change comes this group has failed because not supported by the common people (illiterate +poor). Common man (literate, elite) has developed capabilities to come to a solution because of their flexible thinking but their change is not acceptable to those who are in power. People in power see this group as a threat to their chair and portrait them as Maoist, dented and painted, miscreants, politically influnced and threat to Common man (illiterate +poor).
    • If a Common man (illiterate+poor) takes the lead: How? They are the most exploited part of common man. They do not have any leadership quality in general exceptions may be few. After Shree Bheem Rao Ambedkar I do not personally see someone who has ever tried sincerely and in true spirit for the social and civil up gradation of this part of common man. Instead this force with immense energy is made useless by applying wrong policies and exploited badly. Every time their mouths are made shut by giving a small amount of money as compensation or by giving in kinds.
    Today also in villages when the crime occurs, specially rape cases, The FIR also is not registered in Police station without any source or Money. The voice of the victim or his/her family is made shut by showing the threat of power or by money. A family which can’t afford the food for days and suddenly see so much of money they get confused and un-heartedly compromise with situation. Very same time they develop a very wrong perception that girls are problematic which further results in a narrow thinking that the world outside is bad and killing of girl child in womb is the only solution. There are other bad customs like Dowry etc. which also add thrust for not changing their mindset.
    Since the voice of this class of people is not listened even if they change their mind set whether it will be acceptable to those who are in power or literate. More over after so much of exploitation finally they give up and accept everything without resistance. Unless they insured that their rights are safe and value to others equally, they will not change. More over they required a right direction and environment to develop good skils of administrate and govern. Giving power to such kind of group, without insuring their foundation is strong enough, is lethal and can result in mass destruction which is happening now.
    • Those who are in power or attached to power are the role model of a large mass. They have power to govern and administrate. If common people are benefited by their act why people will not follow? Why they will waste their precious energy and time at INDIA GATE or JANTAR MANTAR? It is advisable to governments to come out from inaction state to action. Unless in their mind national interest precedes self interest change would be a dream and this kind of incidences will get repeated and in greater intensity.
    In my opinion the common man (literate, elite) has already taken the lead now it’s the turn of those who are in power. They must take the lead to change their mindset so that in turn they help in changing the mindset of Common man (illiterate +poor). This may bring back INDIA on the track of progress.

    Reply
    1. umasubramanian Post author

      Thank you for your comment – here is my response.

      - I know we are a BIG country with a lot of differences in caste, class etc. But lets understand this a WOMAN is a woman and a MAN is a man instead of where they belong. The power equation always exists in India – in every caste, class, religion. The symptoms are diverse, but the issue is same.

      - WHO WILL TAKE THE LEAD? WE SHOULD – EACH ONE OF US, IN OUR HOMES, OUR COLLEGES, WORK PLACES, COMMUNITIES – You have rightly categorised it.

      - The common man needs to continue putting pressure and exercise his or her power to vote. We should not forget this incident, only then we will see change.

      Reply
  11. BLR-ASHOK

    Good Writings but how do we avoid all these?

    I am sure most of the people may disagree but we have to be very practical.

    1.If prostitution is made legal in India and if Govt provides separate place in every city for this act, then i am sure all these maniacs or perverts will visit such places and satisfy themself. When they are drunk they tend to anything to get satisfied. Even the developed countries have made this act as legal.

    This will ensure non committing the rapes or murders. Today people who are into this act are charging very high price and these maniacs or rapists or perverts are not able to afford. if it is legalized in every city then i am sure these crimes will come down.

    2.Going forward we will have tough time as Female population is decreasing. Govt should provide high incentives and benefits for the female children’s whether they are from rich or family poor family background irrespective of caste or creed. If this is done then i am sure people will at least have a girl child than boy child. Govt Should educate the people on these more proactively

    3.Today we talk about equal opportunity for the females. Yes I am for it but at the end of the day we should understand that females are not as strong as males when it comes to physical strength or may be going alone or living alone in any place. They may be good at education, thinking, brilliance etc but not at physical strength or living all alone.

    It is parents responsibility to teach these to their female child’s and ensure that females understand this right from the beginning otherwise if females dare to live or go alone or party with friends in the late hours will get affected by these perverts or maniacs

    For e.g in this case Nirbhaya and her male friend have been badly tortured and both of them were unconscious. Male friend survived because his body is stronger than female.

    4.Unless India brings to the laws which are like Rape the Rapist, Kill the Killer, Murder the Murderer etc till then these acts will continue.

    I hope I have made some valid comments here.

    Thanks

    Reply
    1. umasubramanian Post author

      Thank you for your comment – Here is my response.

      - I don’t think legalizing prostitution will solve the issue. 75% men in this country cannot afford a prostitute. How will they satisfy themselves? We need to change the way we perceive women.

      - Agree with you completely on your second point.

      - I completely disagree: Females cannot live alone today in this country because the majority mindset of this country which is patriarchal does not allow her to live alone. PARENTS SHOULD TEACH THEIR SONS HOW TO BEHAVE! Strength is not only physical but also psychological – NO MAN would have survived for 13 days after being brutally assaulted the way she was. She survived and yes she was a woman.

      - We need better laws and better mechanisms to implement the law.

      Reply
  12. Srikanth

    Only two words.. Absolutely Amazing!!! I felt the reality of Indian people sinking through me. It’s never a girls fault. It’s nobody’s concern whether the girl wears a short skirt or if she’s got a Bf or if she’s getting home late from a club. It men who need to control their urge to misbehave. When a male can return home late from a club, when anything a man does is justified, the same should be applicable for women as well.

    Reply
      1. umasubramanian Post author

        Yes – we need to constantly educate ourselves and everyone around us. Especially our brothers and sisters!! Thats the only way out to most of our issues. We need to be the change we wish to see around us.

  13. B.K. Vasan

    None of this makes any sense. Rapists rape women not because of what they wear or don;t wear. Nobody in India thinks that wearing skirts is a license for girls to be raped. This whole thing about people saying ‘she deserved it’ is overblown beyond allowable limits. For sure there will be some people who say that, and it is not just in India. It is the case all over the world. But by and large people in India like elsewhere sympathize with the woman.

    Indian ‘culture’ is not to blame. People who use these big words have no idea what Indian culture is. All they have is an agenda against India. Culturally we do not treat women any less than men. Yes, maybe in the slums of Delhi or the backwaters of poverty-stricken villages. But then, take a walk with me in the ghettos of Baltimore or Chicago and I will show you the same. If you want a culture that treats women as inferiors look at Saudi Arabia. We are not Saudi Arabia where women are considered inferior by the State and reinforced by religious texts.

    People are making it look like we (Indian men) are monsters. Not true at all. By the way according to the UN rape statistics, in the USA (that most ‘sensitive’ of all countries with countless therapies) in 2010 there were 23.7 rapes reported for 100,000 people. Assuming that EVERY rape was duly reported (assume away!), it comes to about 86,000 rapes for the 315 million people per year. What explains this? ‘Indian mindsets’? ‘Patriarchal culture’? ‘lack of awareness among boys’? ‘lack of anti-sexual harassment laws’?What?

    I’ll tell you what. Rape is the act of sub-human cowards perpetrated on helpless women all over the world. While all these highfalutin theories proposed by Indian ‘intellectuals’ is exactly what white people want to hear, it is mostly nonsense. In India , as elsewhere, rapes are not the result of women wearing slutty dresses. Nor does anyone in India think that wearing jeans is justification for rape. Rapes happen because of cowardice. None of the proposed ‘sensitivity’ training will help these cowards. What they will listen to is a severe beating by a lynch mob.

    As for being conservative, nothing wrong with that. These ‘fashionable’ women who urge other people’s daughters to flaunt their bodies in the name of ‘liberation’ usually make sure their kids are safe at home away from the eyes of predatory beasts that stalk the cities of India (or for that matter any major metro in the world).

    There is nothing wrong in telling girls to not dress like sluts. As to what is considered ‘slutty’ it varies from place to place and time to time. Wise Mothers can and will decide what is good for their daughters, like they have been doing since time started and will continue forever.

    Reply
  14. balan

    The article is well writen and the discussion is healthy to bring about positive changes in Society. In this case the rapists are poor guys and it came to the limelight. If this is done by some polician’s children, it will be a different story. Indians cannot bring change as long as the mentality like the powerful should always rule and dicatate exists. The world is changing and the India should change in education, social and political system. The police and judiciary system should be free from political influence like the western countries.

    Reply
    1. AbuTaareq

      Rapist are poor guys? really? Are you saying it is okay? really?

      “Indians cannot bring change as long as the mentality like the powerful should always rule and dictate exists.”

      Can we stop blaming something for something else? People rape because of powerful rules, I don’t understand.

      Who gave the power to the certain people?
      How do they hold the power?
      Let’s start think how we can take the power back and give to the right one?
      Do we know who is the right one?

      “The police and judiciary system should be free from political influence like the western countries” – Which western country free from political influence? Obama? Why we have to compare our political system to the western? Can’t we not invent a political system that western follows? If not, then why we kick the west out from India, should have let them stayed here !!

      Reply
  15. Thomas

    Hi Uma,

    Brilliant Analysis & article.

    I am an atheist, raised a catholic in Madras to Keralite parents and practice psychology in the US.

    Women universally across time have been considered as
    -property ( marriages was for barter not for love )
    - subservient to man for his pleasures and care of him
    -production of babies.

    In the Indian context,
    Religious/Cultural indoctrination takes the following forms”
    ALMOST ALL religions, if NOT in theory, at least in PRACTICE, has condoned all forms of SUPPRESSION especially of females and hold them as repository of honor, chastity, sacrifice and ALL OTHER NOBLE IDEALS. does the same standard apply for men? its gamed, by men, of course.
    - sati ( although not practiced today, it exists as psychological torture for widows) – the practice the woman has NO inherent value after her husband’s death.
    - Saat Pheras: woman following the man. Can it be imagined the other way around?
    - Lingam Worship: Is there an equivalent ? Yes, we worship Goddesses, but there is no worship of an anatomical part.
    - Is there a similar concept as Lakshmanrekha for men?
    - KaruvaChauth- Will men do a similar act sanctioned by religious/cultural practices.
    - Blessings by Husband: wife falling on man’s feet and consider him as God.

    I am pointing out only Hindu practices, and other religions practices condone similar practices and by any means are NOT HOLIER THAN THOU!

    Political contexts:

    In our modern times, very few women leaders have emerged on THEIR OWN. Most of them by associations of relation to a man, either by status of wife, daughter, sister, etc.

    Once in power, they are NO similar to men since they are surrounded by the same patriarchial system.

    They want the citizenry to be passive & submissive and want apathetic masses who will be grateful for bones thrown to them,especially around election time.

    Symbolic representation at High offices have almost NO value; what good has it done if we have
    Meira Kumar as lok sabha speaker ( daugher of Jagjivan Ram)
    Sonia Gandhi as ruling congress party leader ( wife of Rajiv G)
    Sushma Swaraj as opposition leader ( ?don’t know if she has associations)

    Educational system:
    - NO creative thinking taught.
    - rote memorization of useless subjects that has NO relevance
    - This is one area, that NEEDS URGENT reforms, since the minds are being shaped in the classrooms. ( attitudes, consequences)

    Corruption:
    - Worst form of CANCER on the Republic
    - PASS THE LOKPAL BILL

    Media:
    - Corrupt / Nira Radia Tapes/ Paid Journalism/sensationalism/ owned by corporate media with agenda
    - common man has NO voice.
    - they follow talking points.

    Police:
    - Scared by their corrupt MASTERS – unethical politicians.
    - Use IMMEDIATE, UNRESTRAINED and UNJUSTIFIED FORCE on the common unarmed public.
    - Predators more than Protectors.
    - poorly trained, poorly equipped, poorly paid.

    Justice:
    - Indian Justice is an OXYMORON
    - justice delayed is justice denied. ( suryanelli rape case ! )
    - corrupt, slow, apathetic just like every other organ of the system.
    - collusion with the government.

    BOLLYWOOD ( an original !)
    - the worst form of misogynism, racism and sexism. who cares! made another $100crores.
    - people are satisfied with illusionary justice meted out on screen but not in real life and no wonder its the age old good v evil stories repackaged in its million forms by uncreative minds. SHAME!

    well, just sharing my opinion.

    Reply
    1. AbuTaareq

      Thomas,

      You are just joining the crowd of yelling people. You are psychologist, what would you do “one thing” to stop this non-sense behavior in India or anywhere in this world? I am reading these comments, no one dare to tell what we should do?

      If a man or psycho or a gang see a woman, what would scare them not to think about abuse?

      Court fine?
      Lock up?
      Harsh punishment ?
      Swift Law?
      Strong Leadership?
      Self conscious religious belief?

      What is it?

      Reply
  16. opinion2013

    Abu Tareeq,

    There is just NO ONE thing!!! Simple.

    Its oversimplification to seek a straightforward solution for a complex problem. Rape is an act that arises from VARIOUS complex origins.

    Everybody is exposed to media, movies, porn, ads and do we all go about raping others?

    Nobody is mentioning about the rapes/incest that is happening at Homes perpetrated by family members known to the victim. In fact, that is MORE PREVALENT than this barbaric and despicable incident. How do we address that?

    Tareeq, its ok to raise questions. We have been in slumber for a long time and even now, millions are. The important thing is to raise the CHORUS OF VOICES so we as a society, finally wake up.

    Answer to your Question:

    Gandhi said : ” Be the Change You want to see in the World”.

    That’s the ONLY simple answer, most effective perhaps towards a sustainable solution. With one’s attitude and mindset to respect others ( POWERLESS ), especially women, raise public awareness by bringing in voice anywhere and everywhere, boycott or Not supporting any product, or movie that promotes degradation,etc.,

    Reply
    1. AbuTaareq

      First of all I want to thank you for taking time to respond.

      Your Comment:
      “Its oversimplification to seek a straightforward solution for a complex problem. Rape is an act that arises from VARIOUS complex origins.”

      I simply cannot digest this answer, Rape may have so many origins but Rape is just simply a violent crime against weak human being by an inhuman spices. You have to look at the Rape as a Rape not from its origin or reason. As I have explained earlier, if a human occupies the other human because that human feels powerful over the weak then, that human is no longer allowed to live among any other human.
      Reasons like media, movies, porn, and ads are just kicking the can down the road and pushing the responsibility to others and you cannot really say these are the main reason for human aggravations.

      Your Comment:
      “We have been in slumber for a long time and even now, millions are. The important thing is to raise the CHORUS OF VOICES so we as a society, finally wake up.”

      Shouting, yelling is not going to do anything, only actions will be effective. From incidents like Poolan Devi, Billa & Ranga, Soumya, Aruna Shanbaug to recent, all we do is shouting. What changes have you seen? We are good in talking and arguing but I seldom see great solutions to a major problem. I am tiered of finger pointing and blaming, I want to see some action and solution that put to end to human crime and scare others to commit one. Still now, no one come forward to speak out with intellectual solution. I read somewhere – After all is said and done, a lot more will have been said than done. So, we will shout today and we will shout tomorrow and day after.

      Well done is better than well said. ~Benjamin Franklin

      Your Comment:
      “That’s the ONLY simple answer, most effective perhaps towards a sustainable solution. With one’s attitude and mindset to respect others ( POWERLESS ), especially women, raise public awareness by bringing in voice anywhere and everywhere, boycott or Not supporting any product, or movie that promotes degradation,etc.,”

      I totally disagree with your boycott, product, movie bla bla… sounds like comparing oranges to snow flake.

      Reply
  17. Mahima Chandra

    Well written Uma..I truly feel that you have reflected the thought process of the women in our country and it is high time now that our society’s mindset needs to change and they start respecting humanity.

    Reply
  18. John R

    Anything that is said in this case can and is used against you … so I have desisted from saying much about this case … so far.

    Let me narrate an incident that happened recently: my 8 year old child had been going to my neighbor’s house without telling me. I had warned her mother that the neighbor’s daughter wasn’t exactly a role model at least for my little child. But, for some unknown reason my warnings were falling on deaf ears.

    The neighbor’s daughter dreams of being a film actress some day. Modesty and decency are not words she learned in her school. She’s failed her 10th std twice and her 12std thrice. She’s failed in over 50 auditions for various TV-shows/Movies. She’s 21 and without any career or life prospects. She had an affair with a producer much, much older than her when she was 17. That guy used her and then threw her. So, now, Mr. neighbor does not let the girl step out of the house. So, the only thing she does is to gather all the kids in the building and discusses TV shows and movies with them.

    Then, it happened. We were enjoying a quite family time over the weekend watching travel channel when my little girl rose up and said “Daddy watch me dance …” and she started doing the “Sheela ki jawani number.” Unfortunately, she danced exactly like that “Sheela …” and my anger knew no bounds. The first slap was my little girl’s face. The second slap was on my wife’s face.

    Days later, I asked my child where she had learned that song and pat came the reply … “the neighbor’s daughter only shows me those sort of songs daddy and then she tells me to dance like those actresses. I am sorry daddy.” I hugged my child and we both cried. I told her I was sorry for slapping her, but, I also told her that I would not tolerate her dancing like a “dance bar girl” till I am alive … irrespective of whether she’s dependent on me or independent of me. My daughter has agreed and … so far … complied.

    Next, I had to ask my wife why my little one was at all being allowed to go to the neighbor’s house in spite of my warnings. The replies confounded me: 1. the little one has to learn how to migle with people of all sorts 2. the little one wants to play with someone her age and none of her school friends live near our house 3. my wife likes to spend 2 hours everyday at her sister’s place who stays a few blocks away from our house. My wife was almost in line for another slap when I realized that I didn’t want to be that sort of a husband/father. I told her never to leave the house till my kids are at home.

    The point of that whole story is simple: we as parents need to be stricter and we also need to guide our children onto the right path.

    As much as we talk about freedom, etc, we have to accept the fact that this is a country run by goons. And the only thing that we can do for our kids, especially girl children, is to protect them. And that means implementing curfews whether they like it or not. My wife and kids are not allowed outside the house after 8:00 pm. Yes, disaster can strike at any hour, but, we should do what we can.

    Good manners start at home. And more than anyone else, parents are at bigger fault when such things happen. You let the child misbehave once and they quickly learn that it is ok to not listen to the parent(s). You let the child misbehave twice and it becomes a habit. The first step is to stop the problem before it takes root.

    I know most people will not agree to my assessment, but, I stronly feel that the good life, good manners and good behaviors begins at home. And home is, or at least should be, controlled by the parents.

    Reply
  19. Shahnaz

    I think you have really put down to words the context that exists powerfully. We really need to seize the moment now and do something better. Thank you.

    Reply

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